Fear Setting – Look In The Eyes Of Fear

kick your fear away

I am certain that most of you have many fears in your lives, some have been there forever and some are situational or conditional. My question is, has anyone of you thought of doing some FEAR SETTING, make plans to overcome fears corresponding to the goals, finances, family & things that are in your CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE?

I usually review my goals on SMART checklist, as a best practice learned in my 11+ years of corporate experience. Recently, while reviewing my goals, I ticked a lot of things out of the checklist, until I stumbled upon a thought that got me THINKING.

I was left DUMFOUNDED to realize that I am nowhere addressing MY FEARS, such as what if I fall short on targets, experience a loss of credibility, or even worse if I don't get paid. Evidently, I had a few fears but never did it cross my mind that it's critical to acknowledge them. Real achievers, take everything into account while setting themselves any target.

I thought of doing a fear-check, so in one of my sessions in an MBA college, I threw a few questions to my audience -

  • How many of you dream? Apparently, I saw 99%  hands going up. I followed up with another question -
  • How many think they will achieve their dreams? c85% of them had their hands up, with my next question -
  • How many of you have no fears or inhibitions to realize your dreams?  astonishingly only 2% hands stayed up.

This was a huge revelation, in a room filled with a couple of hundreds, 98% people assumed that their fears will not let them turn their dreams into a reality. This made me think of a quote aptly put by Seneca,

WE SUFFER MORE OFTEN IN IMAGINATION THAN IN REALITY

The incapacitating power of FEAR creates an indecision, self-doubt, negativity and low confidence and incompetence.

So what can be done? I did some research on this subject and out of the limited information that I could find, the primary action was simple, believe that you can overcome your FEARS!

Further in my research, I found that similar to goal setting, FEAR SETTING is all about envisaging the most horrible thing that could happen which may prevent you from taking a certain action around your goals and creating plans to attack those fears.

Be honest, not many of you share your fears with more than one person at most, some may do it with a couple, but that's it. The majority of you like to keep your fears within and letting it make us weak from inside. Instead, why not make a plan to address those fears and take necessary actions to become strong.

A few of you may debate, it is all about the mind and how we condition it, some may make easy choices but lead a hard life and ones who want to defeat their fright, will make difficult choices to lead an easy life.

However, it is not always easy to control your mind or choices. Ask yourself a simple question, would you like to make FEAR your companion or rather have the arsenal to explode it. If I was you, I would choose the latter.

To overcome your fears, let's look my interpretation of a methodology (post my research), which can be useful and close to reality, I call it -

LOOK IN THE EYE OF THE FEAR APPROACH

A simple three step approach to knowing your fears, make plans for them and crush them to some extent, if not eliminating them completely

Foremost, like in goal setting, WRITE all your fears down in three sections discussed below. Every factor, that gives you anxiety, makes you nervous, don't let you perform at your best. It can be fear of failure, stage fright, addressing team concerns, a sales pitch, proposing someone and so on.

List your fears three columns, Classify - all those fears relating to your next move or a long term decision, Avert - all those things you can do to prevent it partially or completely and Fix  - what can you do to resolve issues IF your fear comes true, be it taking help or preparing in advance for it.

Second, ASSESS the possible benefits or favorable outcomes of the goals that you are setting or something you are about to commit too, like marriage or a relocation or blogging :). Once you begin evaluating, you will find strong reasons to back yourselves, many call it a "driving force". When you become passionate about your goals or dreams, when you find your motive,  when you get your purpose, fears begin to lose its impact.  So spend good enough time thinking about this step and tabulate them under  Eventual Benefit - Interim Benefit - Initial Benefit. (you can replace benefit with anything like loss, results)

Lastly, REFLECT, what can be the consequences of not following your goals or dreams? The effects can be physical, emotional, mental, financial among others over the future, say 6 months to 1 year, in some cases, it can be for life as well. The example I use often is "I Wish...".

Things that you wished you could do or would like to do but you hold back because of some or other fear. So, ensure to know what is at stake or what will you lose out on if you succumb to your fears. Use LOOK IN THE EYE OF THE FEAR APPROACH

I often motivate myself by saying, it is better to follow my dreams than to regret of not following them, later.

Addressing your fears at the right time can assist you with creating tangible action plans to overcome them which can then make it easier for you to accomplish your goals or dreams. My advice to you all out there is, tie up the Fear Setting exercise alongside the Goal Setting drill at regular intervals.

So, what are you waiting for,

CONQUER YOUR FEAR, MAKE YOUR DREAMS A REALITY

What do you do to FIGHT YOUR FEARS?

Share your opinion on LOOK IN THE EYE OF THE FEAR APPROACH and the post. If you like the post, rate it through star rating below and consider sharing it with others, to help them to overcome their fear.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Your view matters
20
Is The Post Helpful? 🙂

Abhinav

Abhinav is passionate about working with people, understanding their concerns and coach them to do better. He writes in what he believes and shares his experiences with the larger audience. Through his services, he wants to make a difference in peoples' lives. Let's get on the learning journey together, get in touch through the SERVICES page on https://abhinavuniyal.com

33 Replies to “Fear Setting – Look In The Eyes Of Fear

  1. everyone has some types of fear, it’s normal, the idea behind fear setting is that you’re going to take your fears and then define them, after that you can give yourself more concrete means of tackling them

     
  2. This was a very good piece of information on how to overcome our fears, thank you for sharing it. I must admit I still have some fears despite of my efforts to overcome them. I fear wild animals, violent people and public speaking.

     
  3. When i wrote a post about fear.. and overcoming fear. I really didn’t have enough information as to why we fear as humans. So to read this post is very enlightening.but also to back up my limited knowledge and understand of fear. And i agree it isnt that easy to control what your mind thinks and what you do with that. I am glad i read this… because i am trying to take steps to overcome situations i avoid to fear of embarrassment this year. So far so good. “The incapacitating power of FEAR creates an indecision, self-doubt, negativity and low confidence and incompetence.” …Exactly that!

    Thank you. Always reading your posts.

     
  4. I have learned to suppress my fear of failing by learning to alwaysstay positive – To look for solutions instead of looking at the problem. I’ve learned some more from this post. Thanks for sharing!

     
  5. Sir i have no words for you. you are just amazing. i loved the article. best line of this article “it is better to follow my dreams than to regret of not following them, later.”.

     
  6. Totally agree with your points , as a human we all suffer from this same thing that we imagine the negative things before start doing something and we don’t even want to start that now, just because that negative imagination can be a reality . Its all in our brain. we should focus more on the positive side always. 🙂 Interesting article !

     
  7. That’s a pretty inspiring thing to look into. I liked the way you mentioned about ‘LOOK IN THE EYE FOR FEAR APPROACH’. I look forward to try it in the future.THANKS for sharing

     
  8. This is definitely something to think about. Fear, especially fear of failure, is one of the main obstacles in our path of progress. Your 3-step approach is a great starting point for anyone who doesn’t know how to take that first step in conquering their fears.

    Sarah

     
  9. Great post Abhinav and something that not many people address. Fear is probably the thing that holds many people back (myself included) but you’re right, why? I think there are some great processes in here to help everyone. Top post!

     
  10. This is a great reminder to face my fears and deal with them. You’re right sometimes we ignore our fears because they make us uncomfortable. I find your practical steps in writing down fears and finding ways to address them very useful.

     
  11. What a great thing to do! We spend so much time working inside our comfort zone. To grow, it makes sense that we should address our fears in a similar way. I am doing a business course right now and we are just beginning communication on how fears can affect success. Your post is a helpful framework to work on this. Thanks!!!

     
  12. i say the exact same phrase repeatedly to myself and people i care about : it is better to follow my dreams than to regret of not following them, later. Very interesting article

     
  13. Such a great post And something you don’t think about overall! You just work around them. Your right though dealing with it is much more important and you’ll gain more from it. Thanks for sharing a great post

     
  14. This is an interesting post. I normally deal with fear by forcing myself into situations where I have to face things that frighten me and have no choice but to deal with it. It can be really confronting, but seems to do the trick.

     

Leave a Reply